Excalibur: Is it a Man? Is it a Sword? NO! It’s Anime’s Greatest Husbando

I must confess.

I’ve never been one to care about the waifu and husbando sub-culture within the anime community. I have favourite characters, sure, but the two terms tend to denote a higher level of interest than a simple top X list or power-ranking. Indeed they are western bastardizations of Japanese words to loosely fit the mold of ‘wife’ and ‘husband’, so if the meanings are at all parallel, then it’s clearly not something you can just bandy around without care. It’s for this particular reason that I’ve never taken up a fictional character as my one and only, because it’s simply too important a decision for me to approach without extreme caution.

Now I can safely say that having waited long enough to see Soul Eater, it proved without a shadow of a doubt that my reservations were not in vain. Because it was in this show that I discovered Excalibur. And it was within Excalibur that I discovered what, or rather who, I had been saving myself for. For I firmly believe that if you have a Husbando other than Excalibur, not only have you sinned before the eyes of his grace, you have forsaken divinity in favour of a life of debauchery and ruin. Such is the love I bear, and which all should, for the ultimate sword Excalibur.

Excalibur_Wreaths

Now I could deconstruct his appearance as it is in the show. I could pinpoint all his best qualities episode by episode, scene by scene, frame by frame. However that is inadequate. It posits Excalibur as a set of distinct traits, mannerisms and quirks, which while possibly true, does not really connect you with any reason to see him as husbando material. Excalibur is more than all that white noise, rather he is a feeling, and a motion that is locked away inside all of us. Any attempt to analyze it would be too prescriptive and too detached – futile.

So instead,
let me paint you a picture…

You’re sitting at the end of the bar where the server just made you a cool Pink Lady cocktail. Work has been stressing you out lately, hasn’t it? I mean why else would you be in a place like this on your own…

The bar is a bit empty, but it has the right atmosphere. After all, it wasn’t a loud night out you wanted, just somewhere quiet and secluded, topped with copious amounts of alcohol and soon to be forgotten memories. You take a small sip of your drink and wonder how it ever got this bad. Surely it wasn’t that long ago that you finished school, setting out into the working world with seemingly endless ambition and determination. Now you’ve just turned thirty and have to deal with a boss setting impossible deadlines, while your social life can summed up by the fact that you couldn’t call someone to join you here even if you wanted to.

This evening is more like a somber wake than anything else. “Hear, Hear!” to the death of that naive young adult you once were. A comedic tragedy for the ages. Clearly you haven’t drunk enough yet. The glass is far too full and the night youthful. You look around, knowing that the decor is probably more interesting than your sorry tale. Then out of the corner of your eyes you spot a man…

winendine

He’s tall and slender, with an odd yet appealing touch of class. Clearly he chose to come here alone, much like you, which means his extravagant fashion sense must be the routine rather than the exception. You certainly wouldn’t be able to miss the top hat he’s wearing…cute, I guess…but do clothes maketh the man? or is it manners? You are not quite sure what to decide, since his cool and casual demeanor fits in so well for this establishment that even the bartender would be sooner out of place than him. It’s almost uncanny.

His eyes catch yours, and his words begin to stream out with all the same confidence he exudes. The conversation is clearly one sided but you don’t mind. This is a man that knows what he wants after all. Maybe he also knows what you want, based on all the boxes he’s ticking as he ponders on.

  • Loyalty | [✔]
  • Power | [✔]
  • Age & Experience | [✔]
  • Passion for Musical Numbers | [✔]
  • Experienced Contractor | [✔]

All you have to do is follow a few ground rules, but compared to what he’s offering it’s a small price of admission. Truly, you think, if that girl from Fifty Shades of Grey did it then why can’t you? What do you have to lose?

…Well?

I’m glad you agree.

So you might now be curious to know if any of this stuff really happened, which I would be free to ask in kind whether it even matters. The details aren’t important. In fact I would say you don’t even need to watch Soul Eater, or look up anything about him, so long as you treasure the feeling of fulfillment Excalibur has imparted to you through this story.

There is definitely not more to know about him here. Absolutely nothing. Nada.

Now If I may ask the congregation, a hymn, if you please…


Excalibur, Excalibur
From the United King’
I’m looking for him
I’m going to California ~

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2 thoughts on “Excalibur: Is it a Man? Is it a Sword? NO! It’s Anime’s Greatest Husbando

  1. It surely difficult to resist a being of such refined taste and class. The way he sing his hymn sets hearts ablaze. The way he swings his cane causes all eyes to become fixated on his grace and poise.

    Alas, we cannot begin to truly appreciate his splendor on a scale that accurately demonstrates his greatness. But we can try and hope to be forgiven. You’ve but taken the first step.

    He is the the solution for overbearing bosses, the salvation against crippling loneliness, the redemption in regards to empty feelings of self-worth. He is Excalibur the miracle.

    Liked by 3 people

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